this blog in particular, will be about life in ALL aspects, and what it holds. I will start off with my own life experiences, so it will be of a personal nature for now… The moments that made a difference and are etched in my memory. I will tell you about my childhood, and will write and post about the people that shaped me and guided me.
It may start out being about my life, however it is not all about me, myself and I… I will be writing about the people and souls that have crossed my path, and had been, or still are, a part of my life's journey. I will also be sharing my thoughts on many vast and sometimes what seems to be 'taboo' topics… and much more.
Basically, the next few posts and updates, will be about the puzzle pieces, that have formed a part of my "picture".
It is easy to judge a book by its cover… but read within the pages of even a dull cover, and a beautiful story or tale may be hidden within… My life is not one chapter or even just one single book... My life is a library and there is so much that I can and want to share.
This first part may seem a little boring at first gllance, reading about my childhood… however, you'll want to read all about my teenaged years ;)
Let me tell you a little about where I began my journey…
Born 21 January 1976, I grew up in Melville. A beautiful, eccentric suburb in Johannesburg, South Africa. I was raised by my Paternal Grandparents. Ma and Oupa (whom I also referred to as Dad). Two of the most inspirational people in my life. Although I do have a brother and three sisters, I grew up as an 'only' child, however, I was by no means lonely. I had the privilege of an amazing childhood. There were other people privy and part of my upbringing. My Father, my amazing Uncle. Even my biological mother in some ways. And of course growing up in close knit relationships with my cousins… My schooling years, my educators and mentors and childhood friends, all formed a basis of my existence. Yes, over the years, some of those bonds have deteriorated or were even broken, but it still remains a part of who and what I became... who and what I am and who and what I am still becoming.
With my family being involved in the Boxing and (then) Wrestling industry/world, I was privileged to many trips to many places, staying at exotic hotels and being a part of championship and historic Boxing fights and events. Boxers such as Brian Baronett, Charlie Ware, Gerrie Coetzee, Brian Mitchell, Herold Volbrecgt, and so many more, formed a part of my childhood. Wrestlers such as Jan Wilkens, Danie Voges, The Strongbo Brothers etcetera were all a part of my daily life and upbringing.
It wasn't all fun and games. Even as young, small children, my cousins and I were taught a solid work ethic. We helped with setting up chairs, numbering them, 'roping' and covering the ring ropes, ushering and seating, catering, selling tickets and much more. Being a part of a huge Championship, International fight/event at a place like the Superbowl at Sun City and other Southern Sun/Sun International venues, or The Standard Bank Arena, Ellis Park, Loftus, Wembley… the list is endless… was a thrilling experience.
With all the boxing and wrestling events, we still somehow managed to spend and enjoy quality family time together. There were the farms, the animals, the horseback riding, the camping, boating and water skiing. As a child, I got to go on the most amazing family holidays, each and every school holiday. There was always something to do together, something to appreciate.
Music and singing had always been my passion. I learnt to play instruments and music was just a part of my daily life, growing up. My great grandfather had a passion for the organ, and that was the first instrument I learnt to play. I then took on piano, guitar and what ever instrument I could get my hands on. My Grandmother (whom will be referred to as my mum in further posts) has the voice of an angel and my biological dad sings as well. So music is just a part of my bloodline… which leads me to my teenaged years…
I was by no means an easy teen. I was (and still am) "The wild one" and the 'rebel' in our family. The one that was 'spoilt' (still am). The extrovert that took life on as an individual and chose her own path. The one that went out singing every night of the week, regardless of school assignments and exams. The one smoking at a young age (too young). The one that got involved with 'the wrong' crowds.
I was the one that dressed in the skimpiest of clothes. The one that made friends with mainly the boys and was labelled for it. You know what I mean… if you are hanging around with the guys and dressed a certain way, assumptions are made that you are common , a slut, a whore… may I just add, I was none of that.
It's actually ironic that even at this point in my life, at the age of 36, my best friends , the people that I hold dearest and that I choose to walk in my soul and share my life's journey… the ones I trust and cherish most, are mostly all men, even now.
As I mentioned earlier, music was a part of my bloodline, my growing up years and most definitely a part of the discovery of ME during my teenaged years… The first time I realised, that I didn't just have a 'nice' singing voice, but could actually sing and that I was actually kind of talented, was one of my nights out, with my first long term boyfriend (We'll just call him Mr. X). He is not to be confused with my first LOVE, my kindred spirit, my T~Angel (but that is a topic for a different chapter or blog… one day…). I think my mum prayed throughout the entire relationship with Mr. X, that we would break up. Her prayers were eventually answered after almost 3 years.
In the early 90's, Mr. X and I stumbled upon this little corner Karaoke pub, at Gold Reef City. We spent just about every weekend there. I never wrote out a song request or even picked up the song list. I was never even tempted… I had gotten friendly with the regular crowd there, including the DJ, and just enjoyed spending time there with Mr. X.
Then, after almost 3 or 4 months of going to the pub and just listening to every one singing, the DJ decided, that he was going to just call me up to sing a song, for a laugh. He thought it would be funny, as I obviously don't or can't sing... I of course refused and said " I don't sing", he told me that there is a first time for everything and dragged me to the stage.
"It must have been love", was the song he had chosen for me. When I started with the first note and sang the lyrics "lay a whisper…", his jaw literally dropped and a hush fell over the pub. By the time I got to the high notes in the chorus line, the reaction I received whilst hitting those notes effortlessly, were goose bumps, chills and frantic shouts and applause. I found a missing piece for my picture… I got chills myself and that was my sign. I just knew, "THIS IS ME".
Music truly is a universal language and truly does speak to the soul… and although it has never been my dream to perform or to sing professionally, it is one of the things in my life that feeds my soul. It is such a big part of who I am. I don't want or need a world audience, I just need to sing, for me.
… and so my first long term relationship ended (ironic considering my first song I sang, had a reference to love being over). Our final break up, was actually right outside that same little pub. I was young and able… and all I wanted was to sing. I wanted to be who I am and not be tied down in a relationship infested with jealousy, accusation, abuse (verbal or physical) and mistrust. I was just not willing to sacrifice that part of who I am. I discovered I had wings, I wanted to use them and I was going to fly freely… I was going to soar.
Do I regret my relationship with Mr. X? No, not at all… it was a part of my puzzle, my picture, my life. That relationship taught me some of what I wanted and didn't want in a relationship. And there are many good memories that still remain.
The wild child was born. Or rather I was perceived as 'wild'.
Sure, I went to The Doors, Bellanopoli's, White Horse, Masquerades… but if you were looking for me, you would probably find me at Gold Reef City… anywhere from Desley's Karaoke Bar, to Rosie O'Grady's, Barnies and Consolidators... Gold Reef City became my second home. Okay, so I did a lot of incredibly stupid things during, what I call "my Gold Reef years". But I have no regrets. Mistakes were made, who cares? I learnt from each and every right and wrong decision I made and eventually I was mature enough to realize, that it was time to move on from those mistakes. It meant leaving my life at Gold Reef behind. Friends made, memories made (but etched within me). There were a few people during my Gold Reef years, that started completing mere pieces of my puzzle and "picture". People that were a part of my life. People I made and shared mistakes with. But it is a puzzle, and at times we have to start building a new picture and I decided to create my own destiny.
Out of my Gold Reef years I can say that at least three of the souls I met there, remained a part of my life's journey. Both in a direct and in an indirect way. And for that I am grateful.
This Angel was on a learning curve called life and she wanted to fly and explore a bigger world... Nothing was going to stop me from experiencing the beauty I realised awaited in a world far beyond the walls and confines of my Gold Reef years. Out of every mistake, every right decision, every tear, every laugh, through some of the sadness, and through the happiness…. THERE WERE SOME INCREDIBLE LESSONS LEARNED.
… till next time
Love and Light
Nat
xxx
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