this is quite a long read, but you will want to read it to the end, so grab a cup of coffee and sit back...
The definition of Self-love, is the instinct or desire to seek and promote one's own well-being… so, simply put, it is love for thy self… (Self-love is not to be confused with Self-esteem or Self-worth… though those will eventually flow naturally from loving oneself).
I have come across two kinds of people, throughout my life thus far… those that take, take, and take some more… and those that give freely, selflessly and unconditionally, until their own well/cup is empty and has run dry. Sadly, I have come across many more takers, than givers. When I refer to give and take, I refer to it in a sense of emotional and psychological value… not monetary or materialistically.
For us 'givers', there comes a point or place in time, where we have to part ways with the people that drain us and let them go. People that are EMOTIONAL PARASITES not only cause you self-doubt, distress and uncertainty, but drain you emotionally, mentally and psychologically as well, and I believe, they can actually cause you physical illness.
I have always used the analogy, of a bank account… People make withdrawals over and over again, without depositing anything back into the account (INTO YOU), eventually, that account is empty and in arrears… So let your Self-love start by letting go of the people that make you unhappy, the people that judge you, the people that want you to change, the people that expect you to prove yourself, the people that use and abuse you and only need you when they are down and out but are never there for you, the people that drag/put you down. Let those go that take and make emotional withdrawals, without depositing back into, or replenishing that 'account'. Do not let the behaviour or decisions of others, destroy your inner-self and diminish your self-love. Love yourself enough to make the decision to let the 'emotional parasites' in your life go.
Let go of the baggage that weighs you down. Remember that you do not NEED anyone in your life to live or to complete you… You CHOOSE who you want to walk along your path or which souls you want to share your journey with, be it in a love, friendship, or even work related situation, because you choose to WANT them there. So let go of the people, beings and souls that bring negativity and darkness into your life. You don't need or want people in your life that break you down, more than what they build you up. You don't need beings in your life that causes you self-doubt. LET THEM GO. Set them free… set YOURSELF free to soar and explore your true self. Experience your inner world, and the beauty that the world outside of and around you holds and has to offer, without restriction and inhibition. WANT, CHOOSE and ACCEPT people, souls and beings into your life, that create equality and BALANCE within your own being and existence.
You may be letting some people go, people you care about, and that could be heart breaking. However, think of it this way… firstly, you are allowing them to start their own new journey and chapter in their lives (you are giving them a gift), and secondly, you are creating space for beautiful beings and souls to bring a divine lightness and love into your own life. Beings that show love, tenderness, truthfulness, respect and appreciation, for who you are and not who they want or think you should be. Choose people that accept you for who you are now, in this moment. People that will help open a window to your soul and give you a view of your own inner-being, of yourself. Some of those people may walk along side you for a life time… others just for a short while. Choosing and allowing souls that bring those positive aspects into your life to share in your journey, will be rewarding not just for you and your inner-self, but for those around you as well. You will be more content and feel more balanced, which in turn means, the people around you will see and experience a happier and truer you and they will love and appreciate you for that.
Be selfish ... Yes, I said "BE SELFISH", and stop feeling guilty about it. (I am of course referring to an emotional state). You are allowed to be selfish and do for yourself, BEFORE you do for others… How can you be the best you, you can be, without putting yourself first? Yes, we are taught that our husbands/wives, girl/boyfriends, children, family, friends etcetera, should always come first. How often do we hear others say, or even admit ourselves, that everything we do, we do for them, for the people we love…? Think about it logically… How do you give the best of YOU, to your partner, children, family, friends or even at work, if you are not at the best you, you can possibly be? My bottom line, and what I mean when I say "be selfish", is that if you want to give the best of you, of yourself to others, learn to PUT YOURSELF FIRST, be aware of your own needs and do for yourself, replenish the account of 'you', that others have tapped out. Fill your own cup until it is full and overflowing... Nurture yourself so that you are ABLE to do for others. The more strength, light and love shine from within FOR YOURSELF, the more love, light, strength and support you can give and shine onto those around you.
ACCEPT who you are… if there are certain traits or aspects of/about yourself that you feel you want or need to change, let it be your own choice and decision, and not because of what other's may have said or told you that you could/should change. Change, in any form is a personal choice and experience and shouldn't be influenced by others. Change is a transformation that only YOU can decide upon and achieve…
Allow yourself honesty and live with integrity, learn to trust your instincts and to trust yourself, BELIEVE in who and what you are. Appreciate yourself and grant yourself the self-respect and dignity that you know you deserve, show GRATITUDE for who and what YOU are and what you have… Nourish your inner-being, nourish your body... Cry when you want/need to, it is not weakness... it cleanses the heart, mind and soul… Laugh, experience true, pure and utter joy, dance, sing, love and live every moment… Life is too short to not be living and loving at your full potential and with a great sense of self-love.
For some people, the questions beg: Do you even KNOW the real 'you'? Have you lost yourself and forgotten who and what the real you are? Do you even like who you are? You cannot love yourself, if you don't even know who you actually are. Take time to get to know your true self again. IT TAKES A SILENT MIND, TO READ YOUR OWN INNER CORE WITH UTTER AND INFINITE TRUTH. You have to learn to LIKE yourself, before you can actually love yourself….
Affirmations aren't for everyone, but it works for some, so try it and discover whether or not it works for you… Start a Gratitude and Affirmation journal… start with what you appreciate about yourself, what you know makes you unique and special as a being and as an individual… Write about what you are grateful for about yourself and about your life, on that day, in that instant, in that very moment. Keep it positive, don't make it about what you want to or think others want you to change… This is about you, within, RIGHT NOW, and how you can build and expand on your love for the present, existing you.
If you feel as though you have failed yourself,(NOT OTHERS), search within and take note of what went wrong. You cannot change the past and the decisions you made, but you can choose and decide what you want right now, in this moment. Accept your mistakes and forgive yourself and LET GO OF THE GUILT and move forward. Give yourself credit for all the right decisions you have made and have lived.
Allow yourself emotional, mental, psychological and soulful healing… Find and get to know your inner-self, your inner-beauty, your inner-peace. "The soul always knows what to do to heal itself"…
So go on a journey of self discovery... get to know yourself. Like the person you are. Achieve a state of being self-loved.
Your life journey is about loving, giving, learning, experiencing and evolving into the best you, you can be. This journey of self-love and discovery is a wide open, never ending road. Love, appreciate and cherish every moment of your travels.
Love and Light
Nat
xxx
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